Julia
by Merra Dawson
Summary: In which Caledon has to raise the crying girl from the sinking and his life is changed.


Caledon had to admit, when he picked up that little girl on board of the sinking ship, it was all to ensure a place on the lifeboat. He had analyzed the situation as fast as possivle. The detestable little girl was crying in the corner, which meant she didn't know where her mother or father was, which meant it would further allow him to pass her off as his own to get off the damn ship.

So of course, he scooped the child up. He rushed to one of the last lifeboats being filled.

"I have a child!" He called. "Please, I have a child!"

The officer in charge of the boat looked uncertain for a minute. TIme was running out. Cal took one last desperate gamble.

"Please," he begged. "I'm all she has left in the world."

The officer's eyes filled with compassion, almost too much, so that it caused Caledon to feel a little guilty.

"Right, of course," he said, and Cal quickly shook off those feelings and got in the boat, holding the screaming child. He was a man. He had to pave his own luck, had to make things work the way he wanted.

A woman had taken the girl from him while he boarded and was attempting to soothe her. Cal reached over quickly, not needing to cause any unnessesary risks.

"Give her to me," he said, grabbing her. He started bouncing her a little, like he used to do when his brother James was little. "There, there."

The boat began to lower and Cal had to admit he was a lucky man indeed to be on this lifeboat. Many on the deck were not so fortunate. Of course, they did all they could to try to get on it. They were pulling on the ropes, trying to jump on from above, and it was getting dangerous in and out of the boat.

"Someone stop them," he muttered, still bouncing the girl. They were going to overturn the lifeboat and lessen chances of survival for all of the people involved!

 _Splash._ Someone had cut the ropes on the way down and they hit the water. Some women cried that they were safe now. Their cries were too premature.

People from all around tried to get in the boat.

"Stop!" Caledon stood up, thrusting the girl at the earlier woman. "Are you crazy? You'll swamp the boat!"

The next moments were a blur to him, all he knew is that he needed to survive and get away from the sinking ship. He didn't think about Rose or...Jack, he didn't want to think about them ever again. He needed to worry about his own survival now.

Of all the lifeboats that had to flip over, of course it was his. _Fabulous._ Just get away. Get away.

xXxXx

The _Carpathia_ _'s_ deck was full of steerage passengers who had lost their families. Cal searched around for Rose or Mr. Dawson, but..." couldn't find either. Were they dead? None of his concern. He needed to get away from those memories of her. He turned to leave.

"Mister," a voice called. Cal turned, annoyed. He just wanted to get out of here. It was the woman who was on his lifeboat, holding onto the hand of that girl he had grabbed last night.

"She is yours, is she not?"

Caledon paused.

"She has nowhere to go," the woman said accusingly. She knew. She knew he wasn't the child's father.

Cal sighed.

"That is not my problem," he said. "She can go to an orphanage."

"Sir, you took her onto that lifeboat, which makes her your problem and your responsibility. Her parents both most likely died on that ship, along with so many other unfortunate people. She's lucky that you had the _goodwill_ to save her. But now you either raise her as your own, or find her distant family members."

Cal rubbed his eyes wearily. Why did this have to be put upon him? But he had survived the sinking because of the girl, he was a little grateful for that.

"Very well," he said softly. The woman gave a little nudge to the girl, and she shyly came forward. Caledon had to admit that she was a very pretty little girl when she was not screaming her head off.

"Come with me," he told her, and turned around, glancing back a few times to make sure she was following him.

Suddenly it hit him. Basically, he had to act like a father to her until he contacted her relatives. He ran a hand through his hair uncomfortably.

xXxXx

The Hockley mansion was tall and billowing in the distance. The girl's eyes widened from inside the car. Caledon grinned.

"It's so big," she whispered in awe.

Cal realized that's the first time she had spoken in his presence. He turned to look at her, but she was still gazing with fervor at the building they were driving toward.

He helped her out of the car and onto the pavement. She had no belongings, so it was very easy to simply move her in. Of course, she was still an inconvenience that he wanted to deal with as quickly as possible.

Opening the door to the home, he was instantly greeted by his maid, Martha.

"Sir, you are alright!" She gasped. "I feared you had gone down with the ship!"

"Hockleys are survivors. We can handle ourselves," he replied.

"What about your fiancée?"

Cal paused, his heart clenching. Whether or not she was cheating on him, he didn't really want Rose dead. He had just cracked and shot at her. He didn't deny his actions were so very gruesome and wrong, but he felt he could justify that he was jealous. It was no excuse of course, now that Rose was dead. He hadn't heard from Ruth either, but he knew she was still alive. She was one of the first ones on a lifeboat.

"I have heard nothing from her," he said curtly. He turned to go, but Martha stopped him.

"Lovejoy?"

"Nothing from him, either. I have many reasons to believe he passed during the sinking."

"And the girl?"

"She has been placed in our care temporarily," he sighed. "See to it that she gets a room and knows when food is served and where everything is."

"Yes, sir. Does she have any possessions?"

"No."

"Shouldn't we buy her some dresses?"

"Buy her what you wish, if she needs it," Caledon said, turned on his heel, and left to his study.

xXxXx

Cal sat with his face between his hands in his study, near midnight. He had no idea how to contact the girl's relatives, he didn't even know her name.

He took a shaky breath and let the memories of the past week engulf him. He hadn't felt much, he had reasoned he was probably in shock. All those people dead. So, so many people. He had said he didn't care about them. What was the matter with him?

He heard a distant cry and paused. He knew it was the girl. No other being in the house would make a noise such as that. He had not seen her all day, he had stayed in his room the entire time. He didn't feel very much like eating or doing anything honestly.

Caledon sighed and stood up, heading down the hallway slowly, towards the sound of the cries. He passed Martha quietly. She didn't question him, just turned around silently.

He crept into the girl's room and shut the door behind him with a faint creak. Cal flipped on the dim light and walked over to the girl with tears running down her face.

"D-Daddy?"

"No."

"Where is D-daddy? M-mommy?"

"They're gone."

"Gone where?"

Cal stopped. He didn't want to be too harsh with the child.

"You'll find out when you're older," he said simply.

"They're not coming back, are they?" Her tears were slowing, as if she knew she would not get much sympathy here.

"It would seem that way."

Cal turned on his heel and went to the door. He paused.

"I do hope the dresses my maid picked for you are acceptable," he told her. She nodded slowly.

"They are nicer than anything I've ever owned, mister."

"Caledon," he said without thinking.

Her eyes glowed a little. "I'm Julia."

"Well...goodnight Julia."

He sighed again as he closed the door. She was a strong girl. She would do okay with anyone he gave her. He wanted to give her a good home though now. He wanted her to be happy.

xXxXx

"Uncle Cal!" She had begun to call him this and Caledon had to admit (despite his normal judgment) that it was adorable. They were going on a walk down the street and she had spotted a candy store. Cal already knew what she was going to ask. All five-year-olds wanted an endless supply of sweets.

"Alright," Cal said, bending down to her. "You buy yourself a dollar worth of sweets, alright?"

Her eyes widened with delight as he handed her the bill.

"That's-that's worth twenty lollipops!" She exclaimed. She quickly turned and raced into the store. Caledon followed her, chuckling. This was not what he expected when Martha had told him he had to take Julia out for once in a while. This was not we he had expected in general, but here he was.

Cal quickly headed over to the man at the counter, who was also chuckling at Julia, who was now eyeing all the lollipops with childish greed.

"Be prepared," Cal said in an undertone. "She's buying herself twenty of those."

"Gotta spoil our kids, eh? Bein' a father is not a shabby deal," the man replied goodnaturedly. Cal froze.

"Uh, sir, she's not–"

"I got twenty lollipops, Mister!" Julia exclaimed, dumping all her candy on the counter. The man didn't even bother checking if it was the correct amount.

"You got a dollar there, Missy?"

"Yep!" She said proudly, popping the _p,_ placing it on the counter. The cashier took it and swept all of her candy into a large plastic bag and she took it joyfully. They were both oblivious to Cal's reaction to the _father_ comment.

"You two folks have a good day, there," the man said jovially. Cal nodded politely, and turned to leave quickly.

"Come along, Julia," he muttered, steering her out of the shop. She waved enthusiastically at the cashier.

"Bye, Mister! I hope we can come back for more sometime!" She called over her shoulder.

They walked to the car and drove home in silence. Julia could not seem to understand the change in Cal's attitude.

xXxXx

It was Julia's sixth birthday, and Cal had a surprise planned for the child who had slowly begun to break the cold demeanor of his heart.

When she came down the stairs in the morning, she let out a squeal when she saw the scene before her. Caledon had arranged for a special birthday breakfast for her, complete with eggs, bacon, sausage, hashbrowns, a wide variety of juice, and a birthday cupcake.

"This is the most I've ever eaten on my birthday!" Julia exclaimed with her mouth stuffed full of food. Cal just chuckled.

After breakfast he took her into town for the day. As they passed a toy store, Cal leaned down and gave her twenty dollars.

"For a birthday treat," he told her, her excitement obvious. She ended up buying a dollhouse complete with a doll family of a mom, dad, and a little girl doll.

But Julia put the mom doll on the counter and told the cashier that since it was just "me and Uncle Cal over there," that she didn't need a mommy doll. Cal pocketed it on the way out of the store, confused.

Cal spent the rest of the day doing whatever Julia wanted to do. He went on a carousel for the first time in his life, and laughed about it with Julia the entire time. People stopped to stare–a rich steel tycoon's twenty-some-year-old son riding on a mythical creature at a kids's carousel? But Cal didn't mind...Julia was having fun.

xXxXx

It was a stormy night, about seven months after the sinking. Cal had noticed Julia becoming more and more accustomed to the house, and the people in it. She treated Martha like a cherished grandmother, and hardly ever asked about her parents. Mostly.

It was another late night in the study. Caledon was awaiting an important phone call. The result of this phone call would decide if Julia stayed with him–or if she would finally leave and go home to her family. Well, distant relatives. She may or may not know them, but nobody else had stepped up to take her.

Cal rubbed his eyes tiredly. He just wanted this phone call to be over with. He just wanted the girl out. Then he wouldn't have to worry about this anymore.

 _Boom._ A thunderclap outside shook the entire house. Cal's fingers gripped onto his desk tightly. It sounded like when the _Titanic_ hit the iceberg and met her doom.

Suddenly, the telephone rang. Caledon stared at it. Dare he pick it up?

"Hello?" He asked sharply into the phone.

"Am I speaking to Mr. Caledon J. Hockley?" The woman on the other side of the phone asked.

"This is he," Cal responded slowly. "So? What's the news?"

"We found a second cousin who would like to take the child."

"Good, good," Cal said. "How soon can he...she...pick up Julia?"

"She'll be there first thing tomorrow morning."

" _What?_ " Cal expected it to be soon, but not _that_ soon.

"Is there a problem, sir?"

"No," Cal sighed.

"Well, a social worker and the second cousin will be there at 7:00 am sharp. Goodnight, Mr. Hockley." And with that, the woman hung up.

Cal sunk into his chair and ran his hand through his hair, making it disheveled, but that was the least of his worries now.

He slowly got up and walked down the hall towards Julia's room, ignoring Martha in the hallway. He knocked softly on the door, knowing Julia would still be awake.

"Come in?" He heard. He pushed open the door and shut it behind him just as quietly as he had knocked.

"Cal!" Julia exclaimed. "The storm is scary!"

"I know," he said simply. He came over to where she lay and sat on the edge of her bed.

"What is it?" She asked, sitting up taller.

"Julia...someone...is coming to take you home tomorrow."

"Home?" The six-year-old looked confused. "I thought Mommy and Daddy were gone."

"They are," Cal said heavily. "It's a cousin of your parents."

"Oh."

There was a brief silence as Julia pondered this.

"Are you coming with?"

Cal paused. "No."

"You're...not? Will I get to see you ever?"

Cal stood up suddenly.

"No."

"But...what if I want to stay?" Caledon saw her bottom lip quivering and knew tears were threatening to slip out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Julia. You don't have a choice." Cal quickly backed away. He needed to get away from Julia. He needed to go think about something else. Like business.

"But I won't know them!" She sobbed. "You're the...best dad I could have!"

Cal fled the room. Martha stared at him.

"You found a relative? She's leaving?" She asked over Julia's screams.

"Tomorrow morning at seven," Cal said heavily.

"You don't want her to leave," Martha said simply.

"This isn't about what I want, Martha!" Caledon snapped. "Family trumps all. We may very well never see the child again!"

Cal retired for the night and tried to pretend that Julia's cries were just apart of the storm, and that in the morning it would all be over and everything would be right again.

The next morning he waved goodbye to the little girl, tears streaming down her face silently as "Miss Charlotte" took her away to Virginia.

That was the first time Cal had cried for the entire day.

xXxXx

It had been a year since he had last seen Julia. Cal had grown to be a silent, dreary man. He never ate more than was nessecary. He hardly came out of his study and when he did, he never spoke morw than two words.

Nathan Hockley had come to visit his son, and could not understand what was wrong with him. Martha wouldn't say anything about it. Nathan had to assume he was grieving Rose.

Finally, Nathan forced Cal to spend a day in the town. "Get some air," he advised. "It'll be good for you."

Caledon slowly walked through the town, not thinking of much. He had never noticed how much Julia added to his daily life, but now that she was gone, he realized how much he missed her.

As he walked through a small park, he realized that everything was emptier without the little girl leading him on, making him see the brighter parts of life.

"Oof!" He had run into someone.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, looking up...into a familiar face of blue eyes and sandy blond hair.

"Hockley?" Jack asked increduously.

"Dawson," Caledon said simply, waiting for some emotion of hate or distaste or even fear to creep up. Nothing.

The boy had done well for himself, Cal noticed. He seemed to be happy, and looked like he got a decent shower every once in a while.

"You...you're alive," Jack said, running his hand through his hair.

"Yes. Is Rose well?"

"How did you know–"

"There's no possible way you'd be this happy if you two weren't happily married. You were too in love. I see that. Now."

It was the most he had said in months.

"I suppose," Jack aaid awkwardly. "We, uh...just had a baby, too. A daughter."

"Congratulations, Dawson. Now excuse me, I'm not having the best year, so..."

"Wait, wait, wait! Why are you talking to me like I'm an actual person now? What happened?" Jack asked, stopping him.

"I realized class doesn't define," Cal said quietly.

"Well, yeah. How?"

"It's not the best topic for me to talk about, especially with you."

"Why not?"

"I can't talk about it to anyone."

"Why?"

 _Why was this boy so annoying and persistent?_

"Stop asking me that."

"Why don't you just answer the question?"

"They took her!" Caledon burst out suddenly.

"Who?" Jack asked patiently, leading Cal to a bench.

"My...little Julia. I had taken her off the ship...she lived with me for seven months. Treated me like a father. She was the daughter I could never have. She...actually enjoyed my company, not just the fake show I put on for others."

Jack sat there listening. Cal seemed to forget he was there, he was just telling the story to himself.

"And then...one day she was gone. A cousin of her parents came and took her to Virginia. I haven't seen her since November of last year...and I miss her so much."

"I understand."

"Do you, Dawson?" Caledon looked up sharply. "How? They took the only joy I had in my life away from me. I thought I had loved Rose, but that was just a greed for the most beautiful, most obedient wife to show off. I actually loved little Julia. I never told her, because I never realized it. And now she's gone without me ever being able to speak another word to her again."

"Cal..."

"Good day, Dawson," Cal said angrily, and walked away, embarassed that he had spilled that all out to Jack, the reason his life was flipped upside down to begin with.

But from that moment he vowed to at least try to succeed in life. He wouldn't wallow in his pain anymore.

xXxXx

It was Christmas Day, and the entire Hockley family was all over at Caledon's house. He had invited everyone to a Christmas party to sort of apologize for all of his previous actions. They all graciously forgave him and they were all sipping on champagne and laughing.

Cal had given everyone a gift of something he made, not something he bought. Everyone seemed very satisfied with their gifts, much more satisfied than they had with the hundred dollar gifts he bought them in previous years.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Martha stood up to get it.

"Sit down, I'll get it. Enjoy yourself, Martha. I'll be back in a minute."

He hurried down the hall, wanting to get back to his party. He opened the door in a rush, and snow came sweeping in.

It was a family of four. They were all bundled up very tightly in warm clothes, two parents, a baby, and a very shaky looking seven or eight-year-old.

"May we come in?" The mother said softly, her voice sounding familiar.

"Of course," Cal said, allowing them in, wondering what they were here for. Then they took off their hoods and Cal stood shocked.

It was Jack, Rose, the baby who he assumed to be their daughter, and...

"Julia?"

Caledon kneeled down shakily. The girl's eyes were wide and she stared at Cal, as if believing him to be a ghost.

"Julia," he said softly. That's all he had to say, for in an instant she was in his arms, and she was crying and he was crying and he never wanted to let her go.

"Julia, I'm so sorry, I wish I could have never let you go, I missed you so much–"

"It's okay, Uncle Cal, these nice people named Jack, Rose, and Corrie found me!"

Cal looked up from the floor over Julia's shoulder to see Jack and Rose standing there with tears in their eyes. He stood up hurriedly, lifting Julia with him.

"And I'm sorry to you, too, all that happened–I'm a changed man now...I'm sorry, and thank you for bringing her back, I don't know how you did this, if I could ever pay you back–"

Rose smiled. "That was plenty of pay right there. That warmed my heart."

"Rose, I'm sorry. For...everything."

Rose shook her head. "Don't dwell on the past. We're all here now in this moment, content."

Jack smiled and put an arm around Rose's shoulder, putting his other arm around his daughter.

Cal turned to Julia. "So you're here to visit?"

"She's here to stay," Jack corrected.

Cal's eyes widened. "How...?"

Jack spread his arms. "A Christmas miracle, I guess."

Not one of Caledon's family members questioned him when he informed them that three more people would be joing their party. And not one of them questioned him when he told them his daughter was home to stay.


End file.
